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They’re always looking at themselves and how gorgeous they look; they’re shallow and not really connecting with anything deeper than outward appearances,” Kouffman Sherman says.“This also plays into why they don’t think they need to own up to anything: because they think they’re perfect.” This self-importance goes way beyond pride: Narcissists expect to be praised even when their achievements don't support their sense of superiority.If you want me to continue paying attention to you, you need to pay attention to me, too.’ It’s like talking to a little kid.”Dating a narcissist involves a lot of ego-stroking, but Kouffman Sherman says to only do so during times when you think they’re actually deserving of it.They’ll want you to compliment them on anything and everything, but don’t give in if you don’t agree with them or don’t think they’re doing the right thing.I wouldn’t say you can get through to them, but you can keep them from sucking you dry…or, teach them how to respond to you,” Kane says.“For instance, you could say something like, ‘We’ve been having these conversations, and I’ve noticed you haven’t asked about me yet and it makes me feel like you don’t care about me.
And, well, you’re right.“Simply put, narcissists are vain.
"It makes the person who’s dating them caught in a cycle of feeling like there’s something wrong with them.
And if there’s something wrong with leave them, "they get enraged — they can’t tolerate that you see them in a negative light," Kane says.
There are many ways this can show up in your relationship, but even something as simple as them showing up late all the time and never apologizing or thinking about how their lateness affects you is a red flag. Narcissists believe themselves to be "special" and unique, and by extension believe they can only be appreciated by other "special" people.
If they're dating you, don't be surprised by comments such as, "Wow, no one else has ever understood me like you do" or "You are so different from everyone I've ever met" — even if you've started dating.
But as soon as something bad happens and it’s not even your fault or they feel embarrassed or something, it’s very possible they’ll just discard you,” Kouffman Sherman says.